Thursday, November 13, 2014
Setup: B. has lots of books. A. knows this.
A: I mean, who would collect books anyway? (Looks at B. playfully.)
B: I don't collect books.
A: Right. (Laughs.)
B: I don't. I buy books for reading and researching. I'm a reader. A collector is someone who buys things for a reason other than use.
A: Then why do you keep the books after you've read them?
B: Lots of reasons. (Pause.) I have a collection, yes, but I'm not a collector.
A: Sounds like you're splitting hairs.
B: If I'm a book collector then someone with a stocked refrigerator is a food collector.
A: That's completely different!
B: You only think so because you don't read. (Pause.) Actually, you're right.
A: Thank you.
B: No, I mean they're different in a way that makes my point stronger. Because I can assure you that if a meal was still food after someone ate it, they wouldn't flush it down the toilet!
A: What on earth are you talking about?
B: I'm trying to explain to you why I keep books after I read them.
A: You eat books!?
B: (Sighs.) Yes!