Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Rules for Living (II)


#471 
Don't outlive your teeth.

It is acceptable to outlive your teeth through neglect (e.g. Shane MacGowan) or accident, but never when you've taken care of them like a typical bourgeois.

Nursing homes and living room couches are unworthy deathbeds for a human being. (If you doubt the truth of this statement then you're probably the type of person who's going to outlive their teeth.) As Fassbinder said, "Everyone must decide for himself whether it is better to have a brief but more intensely felt existence or to live a long and ordinary life."

Should your teeth begin to loosen, start doing all the things you were too afraid to do back when you took the job at place A rather than place B simply because it provided you with better dental coverage.

#2767  Never capitalize someone's name unless they deserve it.

Always default to lower case, not capitalwe have it backwards. Capital letters should rest like a crown upon the name.

Some examples:

Alfred Jarry
Harpo Marx
Clarice Lispector
John Cassavetes
François Rabelais
god

1 comment:

Tyler said...

Rule #471 is meant to be compassionate, however cold-blooded it might sound to some. It's grounded in the belief that life should be about quality, not duration, with losing one's teeth as the particular symbol picked to indicate the start of this (likely) downward spiral. In another sense, the rule is about affirming everything implied by Oscar Wilde's remark "I am not young enough to know everything." It's also not really about the elderly; after all, one can become toothless at any age (and once you do, you're finished). If I ever rewrite the rule, I'll make these aspects more explicit.